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Intimacy is Spiritual…
The Joy of Intimacy is Rabbi Manis Friedman’s renowned and cherished work on how to achieve deep, emotional intimacy in your relationship. His methods and teachings can help you discover hidden feelings you didn’t even know existed deep within your soul.
The first step in this process, ironically, is to reach outside yourself by engaging in “mutual surrender,” where you surrender your personal needs in favor of your spouse and vice-versa.
But in modern times, intimacy has devolved into a selfish, pleasure-seeking venture, where each side of the relationship takes advantage of the other… merely seeking to benefit themselves, only to be left disappointed, unfulfilled, and lonely.
Rabbi Friedman is committed to changing this cultural trend, and his book, The Joy of Intimacy, represents your path to a world of deep connection, love, and meaning.
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Rabbi Friedman’s best-selling book on love, sexuality, and spiritual connection in marriage.
 The hidden reason physical intimacy feels shallow in modern times
 How modesty and boundaries actually increase closeness
 What Torah and Kabbalah reveal about true, lasting connection
This is your guide to a marriage filled with dignity, passion, and deep belonging.
6-Part Video Course on Intimacy
Rabbi Friedman walks you through the real definition of intimacy-beyond feelings, beyond therapy, beyond clichés.
You’ll discover:
 Why emotional closeness is not the same as intimacy-and how to tell the difference
 What it really means to want your spouse (not just what they do for you)
 The spiritual dynamic of giving and receiving in a marriage
 How men and women are wired differently-and why that’s a good thing
 How to turn awkwardness into dignity and physicality into purpose
 Why intimacy becomes deeper after marriage, not before
“Real intimacy means:
I want you.
Not what you do for me.
Not how you make me feel.
You.”
— Rabbi Manis Friedman
From the desk of
Rabbi Manis Friedman
I believe intimacy is an art, one that must be learned, cultivated, and practiced. In my book, The Joy of Intimacy, I work to dismantle many of the myths about love, sex, and intimacy that so often create distance instead of closeness. True intimacy, as I understand it, begins with surrender - not to another person, but to something greater than yourself. Instead, we find so many people falling into the trap of using someone else to feel good or fulfilled, whether they realize it or not.
If you want to experience real intimacy, at least in my view, it starts “mutual surrender,” where your needs come second to your spouse.
Together with my co-author, Ricardo Adler, we explore how to keep intimacy spontaneous and natural, how to create an inviting atmosphere, and how to make the bedroom a sacred space. We offer guidance on developing a deeper sensitivity to the holiness of oneness.
Get ready for an experience that can transform your marriage and elevate your entire life.
Whether you’re single, dating, or married, my hope is that this book gives you both practical advice and the confidence to build a relationship that’s alive, fresh, and deeply fulfilling.
Warmly,
Rabbi Manis Friedman
A Sneak Preview From…
The Joy of Intimacy
Rabbi Manis Friedman's book The Joy of Intimacy is a comprehensive and practical guide to understanding and cultivating genuine intimacy in relationships. Drawing on over four decades of experience as an author, counselor, and teacher, Rabbi Friedman-co-writing with Ricardo Adler-explores the deep truths behind human longing for intimacy and offers insights based on Jewish tradition. The book addresses the pervasive crisis of intimacy in modern culture, where many people feel alone even in committed relationships.
Chapter Synopsis
Chapter 1. The Art of Intimacy
There’s a misconception that intimacy is instinctive and immediate. The truth is intimacy is a skill… and skill requires intention, learning, and practice. Mere instincts will only bring superficial closeness whereas real intimacy sparks a genuine, soul-level connection.
Chapter 2. Pardon Me, Is That My Soul You’re Wearing?
Intimacy consists of both physical and spiritual attraction. True intimacy, according to Jewish wisdom, is rooted in the recognition of another's soul rather than just their body or personality.
Chapter 3. Do You Need It or Do You Want It?
Dependency and desire are two different things. Merely desiring someone for one’s own satisfaction prevents true intimacy. Real intimacy thrives when people come together willingly, not out of superficial lust but out of voluntary dependency on one another.
Chapter 4. Preserving Your Inborn Spontaneity
Ever wondered how you’re supposed to stay fresh and spontaneous in a relationship for the rest of your life? You’re not wrong. Routine can dull intimacy. This chapter explores how to recreate wonder and novelty within the bounds of commitment.
Chapter 5. What’s Love Got to Do With It?
What is the role, function, and limits of love? Love, while important, is not itself the foundation of lasting intimacy: security, trust, and shared commitment are more fundamental.
Chapter 6. The Dance of Giving and Receiving
Any great relationship has a balance of generosity and receptiveness. Healthy intimacy means balancing giving and receiving whereas stinginess and begrudgingly giving can backfire.
Chapter 7. The Call of the Womb
A union has both a spiritual and biological “call.” This chapter frames sexuality as a sacred bond, tied to creation and spirituality rather than mere pleasure.
Chapter 8. The Ultimate Pleasure
What exactly is pleasure, and how do you experience it every single day? Here’s your answer: The deepest pleasure comes from transcending the self and connecting to another. That’s why physical intimacy in the context of marriage sanctifies pleasure rather than exploit desire.
Chapter 9. Preparing for Intimacy
Learn practical guidance on fostering the right conditions for intimacy-emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Creating the right atmosphere is as important as intent.
Chapter 10. Are We Alone Yet?
Togetherness is by definition a paradox for the individual. In fact, true intimacy is possible when individuals remain distinct, not merged or dependent. This chapter helps couples cultivate healthy individuality within the relationship.
Chapter 11. The Myth of Sex as Entertainment
Modern society portrays sex as recreational or casual. In truth, intimacy is sacred. Trivializing our most personal being makes us less fulfilled and depressed.
Chapter 12. Stoking the Fires of Love and Intimacy
Explore practical tips for reigniting connection in long-term relationships: communication, surprise, appreciation, and conscious effort are key.
Chapter 13. Becoming Partners in Creation
We have the creative power to raise children. Through intimacy and marriage, we mirror the Divine partnership in creation.
Chapter 14. The Awe of Union
Intimacy demands awe and reverence. Union is more than physical or emotional-it is existential, echoing the union of body and soul.
Chapter 15. Epilogue: The Transformative Power of True Intimacy
Authentic intimacy transforms individuals, marriages, and even communities. The joy of intimacy is ultimately the joy of becoming more human, more connected, and more fulfilled.
About Rabbi Friedman
Rabbi Friedman is the author of several bestselling books, including Doesn’t Anyone Blush Anymore, Creating a Life that Matters, and The Joy of Intimacy.
He has over 550,000 subscribers on his YouTube channel, with 100,699,961 views to date. That’s besides for his 273,000 Instagram followers, with over 3100 posts and counting.
But that didn’t happen overnight… or by accident.
For over 40 years, Rabbi Manis Friedman has shared ancient Jewish wisdom in a way that’s refreshingly clear, compassionate, and transformative. There’s a reason you can’t find his wisdom anywhere else on the internet. Because his knowledge comes from real world experience with real people facing real challenges.
He’s advised couples on restoring intimacy after betrayal, guided individuals to find peace after decades of confusion, and helped countless men and women align their lives with their true spiritual mission.
This is no small task, but there’s no one better for the job than Rabbi Manis Friedman. Millions of people have been touched and impacted by his unique, comforting demeanor and precise language. Now, he’s bringing his wisdom directly to those willing to seek it.
This Is For You If…
You’re married, but feel more like roommates than soulmates
You’re tired of surface-level advice and want something deeper
You’re newly married or engaged-and want to build the right foundation
You want to restore closeness after years of disconnection
You’re simply curious about what intimacy really means in a spiritual sense
“If you’re not marrying a person-you’re marrying a feeling.
And when the feeling fades, you’re left with nothing.”
— Rabbi Manis Friedman
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